


Come Close, Come Closer

by ushijams



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Can these idiots just date, Canon Compliant, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, brazil fling to lovers, mentioned atsuhina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ushijams/pseuds/ushijams
Summary: “You know I asked the Gods for a sign. I told them that if you look back, I will bring you closer. That I won’t ever let you go.”“But I didn’t. And I did go farther anyway.”“But you’re back now. You’re back here”There is no such thing as love in a world of coming and running, Hinata Shouyou knows that more than anyone. So when his heart beats to the uncertainty of Oikawa Tooru, he’s putting an ellipsis instead of a point.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 24
Kudos: 123





	Come Close, Come Closer

**Author's Note:**

> I just feel like the world is so full of hate and insecurity so I'm presenting a new OiHina Fic for world peace. Firstly, thank you to the Horny Jail server for answering my questions, you saved me a lot of time in research. Secondly, thank you OiHina Nation for inspiring me to write this fic, you are GOATS. Lastly, thanks to my main bHie, [tris](https://twitter.com/zenin0barai) for listening to my brainrots. So yeah enjoy this self indulgent, volleyball idiots shenanigan.

It's always a different feeling whenever Shouyou seats on a plane. He can still remember the moment, he first left Japan. April of 2016, it was the start of spring. The air is still chilly with the remnants of winter’s snow. But he didn’t feel any of it. Sure, he felt the goosebumps whenever the cold air clings onto his skin, but the warm smiles of the people whom he considers his family is enough to shrug it all off. But the thing is, that was 5 years ago. Times have really changed. From swarming over the economy to having his own suite in first class. Hinata has grown from the concrete— from a sucky idiot who cannot properly receive to an international volleyball superstar, _Ninja Shouyou_ , as they call him. Shouyou have come so far.

It always feels different whenever the plane takes off to head on to another destination. It was 5 years ago but Shouyou can only feel hopelessness yet being hopeful at the same time. Things feel differently when you’re young, and alone to start from the scratch into the other side of the world. Fear creeps into the back of your spine whenever you think of how your world may change in the brink of an eye. 

Shouyou would be lucky if these are the things that he’s thinking now, but they aren't. Scrolling past his social media, Shouyou can see the fleets and stories of his friends and various players that he met all throughout high school up until today. He may not have all the time in the world, given his hectic schedule of practices, matches, ads and tv guestings, but Shouyou makes sure to at least know what his friends are up to. Shouyou took a quick selfie and posted it with a caption, _“Goodbye for now Japan ♥️”,_ and continued to view last night’s shenanigans.

Post after post, Shouyou laughed at himself, as he flickered into the screen. There’s really nothing much to see but different angles of himself getting drunk at his send off party. It was a fun night of reminiscing good old days and rivalry. Sure, the casual sex followed afterwards, and he’ll be lying if he says that last night with Atsumu didn’t feel good. It was heavenly. 

Don’t get him wrong, there is only so much a man needs. He needs his fill of distraction and stress relief, Atsumu needed someone to stick his dick into. It was mutual, and fair. It wasn’t that he’s the only one doing it too. Everyone has skeletons in their closet; may it be teammates you love to fuck. cheating over their way to get a regular position on a V League team, or even illegitimate children. Everyone has secrets no one wants to know. He continued his scrolling, trying to do something on this gruelling long flight. From Daichi’s failed Karaoke attempts to Kageyama’s training shoes— which is a post surely made by his PR team, Shouyou had fun. Not until he saw a name so bold, he didn’t really want to see— Oikawa Tooru.

* * *

It was two months right after he landed into this foreign soil. Everything is just too much and it is starting to overwhelm his nerves. He just got back from his part time delivery job, only to find out that his wallet was gone, probably snatched. The sand has been unforgiving, and he’s starting to question all his life choices and decisions. Is he really good enough? Will he ever catch up to Kageyama? He remembers a saying, his sensei once said. “He who climbs the ladder must begin at the bottom”, but he cannot help but wonder how easier would it be if only his physique did not hold him back. 

Shouyou had always been everyone’s ray of sunshine. There’s no denying that he lifts up every single person that he meets. He is hunger, as a mortal. Always yearning, searching for something to fill himself. But now, he is no one but a product of his insecurities and shortcomings. As he hugged his knees, close to his chest, with nothing but his chest to catch his tears. Shouyou might not be a sunshine as people thought him to be. But he is Hinata Shouyou, and although his heart is heavy, he is in a foreign soil for a purpose. And so he found his feet dragging him into the beach. As he saw people of all ages, play, and he found himself joining them. 

And so, it came to him that the sand— is strict, but it is kind. 

_“Nice Kill!”_ he unknowingly blurted as the old man spiked the ball.

_“Seriously? Japanese?”_ he heard a voice, he can never forget…

“ _Grand King?!”_

_Shouyou could never believe his eyes, standing in front of him, in Brazil of all places, Oikawa Tooru in the flesh._

“Hey, Speaking of! Let’s go play now!”

Shouyou saw how Oikawa tripped and fell face first in the sand. Watched him struggle as he chased the ball. 

“Oikawa-san?”

“For one second, just for one second, I was really depressed, but… after meeting you, I’m feeling way, way, way better!”

“Oh treat me to lunch, sometime then”

It was September of the same year, 3 months after they played in the sand. Shouyou found himself on his bed, spooned— tangled with the arms of no one but Oikawa Tooru. It was exhausting, the hours of bliss and body worship will always take a toll on his body. He turned the other way and took a peek at Oikawa’s gorgeous sleeping face. His hands trailed on the other’s face. Trailing his eyes, nose, and lips, remembering how this person made him a whimpering mess as they shared the night.

“You’re enjoying the view too much”

Shouyou was startled the moment Oikawa opened his eyes, much so when he teased him. As they say, there’s a thing about broken souls who find each other in their lowest times. Shouyou might say that it's the loneliness of being away from comfort. It was a dark time, and everything just doesn’t make sense. And suddenly, there was Oikawa, a piece of familiarity that he can grasp. _The volleyball match on the beach sparked a start. It was only a couple of Caipirinhas and Beers until they found their lips trying to have a taste of one another. Oikawa broke out for a moment only to latch his lips on Shouyou’s neck, leaving a mark that will last for days, wanting Shouyou to remember that one night, in his shared apartment, he was his._

* * *

That is how it all started. Oikawa visits him in brazil. They play a match or two. They eat a meal in one of the cafe’s Shouyou likes. And then they let their desires wash over their system as they chant amen, in the form of each other’s names.

“You’re spacing out again”. Shouyou snapped out of his thoughts as Oikawa drew him closer into his chest. So close that he can feel the other’s heart beating. 

“I’m just wondering if we should be really doing this”

“Doing what?”

“This.”

“Oh you mean, fucking?”

_Silence. The cat got Shouyou’s tongue the moment Oikawa said what they’re doing is._

“Need I remind you, shortie pie? We’re adults now, no one’s gonna send you to jail for wanting a piece of meat in your hole.”

“...but we’re doing it and we’re friends, and what if this affects us soon?”

“Well, I’ve done it a few times with Mattsun and we’re still fine. And it’s not like we’re in a relationship or something, we’re only fucking. Do not stress it too much.”

“I’m just thinking about it because you’re the only one that I really know here.”

“We’ll don’t think about it too much. You fucked other guys right? This works the same as that.”

_Silence._ Hinata Shouyou has only been with one man. He was taken aback as Oikawa slapped him with reality. It’s not like no one took his interest or no one asked him to. It’s just because he thought that the right thing to do is to say no. But Oikawa just made it clear, made him realize what it’s supposed to be like. It’s a splash of ice cold water, the truth biting you in the back. He really is naive. So must he spare himself from the pain, and lie.

“ _Of course, I did.”_

His friendship with Oikawa continued. Of course the set up was the same. They meet, play, eat, drink, fuck and bid each other farewell. The only thing is that Hinata seeks pleasure in others now. Kissing strangers and luring them into his haven. Giving them a taste of his soul as they share gasps and whimpers. But no matter how many men and women he shared the night with, Hinata Shouyou will always crave for one— Oikawa Tooru. Finding him on everyone and everything. Seeing a piece of him as he’s walking on the streets, dreaming of him as he sleeps.

* * *

Something about sharing the bed with Oikawa sends tingles into his spine. It’s different each time the man thrusts into his hole. His spirit sings in glory whenever Oikawa nibbles right into his ear. Oikawa Tooru is a false god. Maybe it’s the sex that he missed? So he fell into the rabbit hole, trying to relive the same feeling. Finding another person— another God who can give him the same manifesto.

But it was a hopeless search. Because no matter how hard he tries, it wasn’t just the sex anymore. Sometimes it is how Oikawa wipes the napkin over his mouth as they share a meal in a rustic cafe down the block. 

_“You know, you’re a careless eater chibi-chan”_

_“Well the food is good, and I’m hungry, I’m sorry.”_

Shouyou said he started to eat with finesse. Not wanting to embarrass himself in front of the Grand King. Taking small bites, instead of his usual mouth-stuffing practices.

_“Why?”_

_“What?”_

_“I didn’t say it’s bad.”_

_“Well I didn’t want to look bad in front of you.”_

_“Well you’re not, you actually made me amused.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“You’re adorable chibi-chan”_ Shouyou felt the heat creep into his cheeks from the compliment. He knows how annoying and probably ugly his munching is, but having Oikawa, the Grand King of all people, tell him that he’s adorable, flutters his heart strings.

Oftentimes, it is how they look into each other’s eyes as they dance to the beat of music inside a seaside bar. But on rare occasions, it’s the silence that embraces them whenever they sit on the sand, facing the sea with only a bottle of local beer to witness. 

“Chibi-chan?”

“Yes, Oikawa-san”“You’re going back to Japan right?”

“Yes, I’ll be going back in a few months, right after Heitor’s and tryout for a team.”

“What are your plans after that?”

“I’ll be playing for the best team that will give me an offer. I think that is?”

“That’s a nice plan”

_Silence._ There’s so much beauty in words, that Shouyou cannot blame people for swaying over the rhymes, riddles and metaphors. They say his hunger is insatiable, but at this very moment. He is satisfied. All he needs is here. The silence, the sand, the wind, and Oikawa-san.

_“Shouyou”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Will you miss me?”_

_“What kind of question is that, Oikawa-san?”_

_“You’re going back to Japan. Will you miss me?”_

_“I don’t know. Will you miss me?”_

The two of them waited for an answer that they didn’t get, an answer they also couldn’t give, and so they stared into the vast ocean and enjoyed the silence. Unlike every other night, Oikawa booked a hotel instead, there were no “goodbyes” and “see you soons”. There’s no more cuddling and teasing on the bed, nothing but _silence_.

Oikawa stared at him as he helped him settle his things in the cramped room. He did not bother to insist, what’s the point anyway. And so he took a glance on the other man and flashed a smile before turning back. He doesn’t need to see how he reacted. He doesn’t need to hear what he says, because the silence itself is a screaming thought. _Hinata Shouyou got his answer._

* * *

Just a quick layover in Amsterdam and finally, Shouyou is on his last flight to Rio. The flight has taken so much of his energy, he’s not new to travelling but there’s really a thing with 21 hour flights that will make you weary. 

That night, when Shouyou left Oikawa in his Hotel Room, was the last night they talked to each other. He heard nothing from Oikawa when he left Brazil, nothing but _silence._ There was silence when he landed in Japan. Silence when he played his debut game and defeated Tobio. Silence all throughout the three seasons that he played. It wasn’t that he tried to talk to Oikawa either, because he himself gave nothing but silence too.

That’s just how the set up is supposed to be. There is no such thing as love for two souls who always wander. There is no such thing as love in their fleeting journey. So maybe that’s just how it should be, how it is supposed to be. But Hinata cannot help but wonder how it would’ve been if only he took a risk, and made a tangible decision in his uncertain world. The truth is, he still beats himself, wallowing in what ifs and regrets. But life demands the greatest sacrifices. So no, sadness and grief may lure him into weakness, but Shouyou will not give in. 

The plane finally landed. Shouyou got his baggage and quickly hailed a cab. His homebase will be Sao Paulo now but he wants to go back to Rio, to that shared apartment, just to get some of his things, maybe to catch up with some friends too. And maybe if he’s lucky, if just by chance, _he is there_. His friend’s insisted on picking him up, but he declined anyway. Pedro is busy with his job. Nice and Heitor are parents now. Shouyou doesn’t want to be a burden. 

He reached the apartment complex. It has been 5 years since the first time he’s been here, times have changed. He is Ninja Shouyou now—an International Volleyball Superstar. But something about the vibrant neighborhood and its charm takes him back. He is grounded. He knocked on the door, and not 3 knocks after, Pedro greeted him with a hug. It was nice. The two of them didn’t see each other in person for 3 years.

But the reunion was cut short as Shouyou saw _someone_ , sitting on the couch, looking at him intently. 

“Shouyou, I actually have to leave for a while. And Oh, Toto is here and asked me to just welcome you instead. I’m getting late for my dentist appointment, let’s catch up later okay?”

Hinata fell silent, it is the first time in 3 years that he saw Oikawa Tooru. There’s a million things he needs to know, and a million answers he wants to give. But just like how it has been, he fell mum into the beat of his heart, his mouth felt dry and suddenly he cannot utter a single syllable. He wanted to scream at Oikawa, more so, he wanted to scream at himself. For regretting the way he dismissed his heart, for missing out on this feeling he could’ve had. 

“You know I asked the Gods for a sign. I told them that if you look back, I will bring you closer. That I won’t ever let you go.”

“But I didn’t. And I did go farther anyway.”

“But you’re back now. You’re back here”

Shouyou can feel the wetness from his eyes, he is physically tired from the long flight and having this confrontation did not help. The pain and yearning kicks him in the guts, making him feel helpless. There’s really nothing much that he can do.

“and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not talking to you. For making it seem like I abandoned you.”

“I’m sorry too for not saying anything. I’m so so sorry.”

“It's okay. I know. I understand. I can never hold back anymore. I don’t want to clip your wings. You’ve done so much. And I, of all the people knew it the best.”

“Will you forgive me? For caring too much?“

“If you forgive me for doing what’s right”

Shouyou bawling his eyes out now. There’s just too much and it’s overwhelming his senses. But he felt Oikawa’s arms locking him closer to his chest.

“I love you Shouyou.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know. I was surprised, when you told me that you’re glad that you’ve met me, and that you felt better because of it. And then I woke up and realized you make me happy, and I always look forward to seeing you. And then I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Toru, one thing I realized when I got back to Japan is that, I love you. Truly. Sincerely, Not only because you are an air of familiarity, but it’s because I really loved you.”

Their shirts are soaked from the tears that they shed. So much emotions are pouring over their souls that all they need is to let it out. 

“It doesn’t matter if I’m in Japan or Brazil or anything in between. Home is wherever you are Tooru.”

There’s still a lot of questions that need to be answered, but Shouyou will leave that for another time. But for now, he’ll take his moment, being locked into Oikawa’s arms. In another time, their souls might part again. Creating an ellipsis on a chapter that’s supposed to end with a point. This will probably be their story; a life of coming and running, chasing and letting go, searching for something that’s right in front of their eyes. But at least they are together, in the moment, with nothing but tears and silence. They are close— closer and that’s the only thing that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> I did all my best in research and stuff, I hope I lived up to the expectations. Please let me know if you have comments and suggestions on the comment section, [twitter](https://twitter.com/eatadori) and [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/eatadori)


End file.
